being who we are

I am always being told how I should feel and why. I am told that feeling any one way is wrong that I am stupid to do it. I say no it takes courage to feel what you feel anyone can say the feelings a loud but to feel them deep within takes more courage. I keep saying sorry for the feelings I have, trying to please everyone else. I hide behind a smile so others can be happy, When asked if I am okay if i say no they get mad and if I yes they get mad so I just keep quiet. I have stood up for so many taught them to find their own voice yet I have not found mine. So many who think they know me only know what I chose to show them. Yet there is one who for what ever reason seems to nail actually how I am feeling and I have no clue how. It seems at the time when I need a friend more than ever is when I get a phone call. At first I was afraid to speak what I was really thinking afraid I would scare them away, yet I have found that to be a real friend I need to just to be true to myself which means speaking my mind. I was told I have a big mouth not sure what actually that means, but I hope it is nothing bad I am a small person I need to be seen okay heard some how.
Judging comes easy for others but not is the strongest thing you can do. To see a person for who they are not what you think they should be. So many where mask to hide who they are fear of not being accepted that is sad, we are all guilty of this at some point or another, but being the one who walks up to one who stands alone and takes a stand is what it is all about. Perfect I am so sick of that word.
PERFECT: someones idea of how things should be not the reality of it all. putting someone on a pedestal and when they can't live up to what you want they get crushed. Perfect is being who you are flaws and all, it is acceptance, understanding, it is not being afraid to be who you are.
I believe imperfect is so much better gives you character, your own style, makes you stand out from the rest of the world. So what if your not pretty , or skinny, or have perfect skin, so what if you laugh in the middle of a crowd for no reason. these things are wonderful things that set you apart from others. If God wanted us prefect he would have made us that way, he made us the way we are to embrace it and walk with your head held high is confidence and it is a great thing to have. Sometimes it just takes someone believing in us and that person should be you, how can others believe in you if you can't.
When you think about it we are not different I hurt, I bleed, I cry, I smile, I laugh, I love, so we are not all that different after all. Life is an adventure waiting to be discovered but it takes courage to take that first step. Be proud of who you are no matter what. God made you for a reason even when we question why we need to just believe he has a plan for you and me. Faith is believing in the unseen hope is feeling with your heart that anything is possible.